Obsession To Win
Never Quit!
Defining “Winning”
To me “winning” is about a thirst and a hunger for success in any area of life which you are extremely passionate and excited about until a point of satisfaction is reached. You dream it and breathe it and chase it down with all of the violence and vigor that Leatherface chases down one of his victims in the movies. To me winning is a very binary thing; you either grabbed what you reached out to touch or you didn’t. There is no sense in compromising, making excuses or coping to justify falling short. It is “The Thrill Of The Chase” and the catch itself. The desire to do and be more than what you currently are accompanied by an acceptance that you will face challenges which will cause you to question whether or not to keep going from the beginning.
Expect some things to go wrong and even learn to look forward to when they do as you find ways to solve each new problem that comes up. For example, as much as I love writing for free as a passion project, I also hope to earn some money from doing it in whatever ways that I can. If my blogspot here were taken down due to violations of Terms Of Service, I would keep writing on Substack, Medium, Tumblr and wherever else I could go. I am defiant and will not bend or break at any sign of trouble. I plan to do this for years to come and inevitably I will see my share of failures and disappointments as I continue to talk about life and the things that I love!
The Ignorance Of Youth
As children and even teenagers we could afford to waste all of the time in the world. What we needed was provided for us and we didn’t have a full grasp of the value of things like clothes, water, electricity or food. Everything was handled and paid for out of pocket by our parents and caretakers. Hours, days and weekends spent playing video games or something else while we were being supported. Even into adulthood we each have our hobbies that aren’t productive and take up some amount of our time. This is perfectly fine as not every waking moment of our days should be focused on productivity but to me if you happen to have a hobby which carries the potential to earn you some income or take you places, it would only make sense to capitalize on them and put as much time and energy into those things as possible.
As I’ve aged I have found that I am able to tolerate discomfort and misery less and less. I have become aware of my age and how quickly time goes by, so when I find a circumstance of my life intolerable, I am willing to make moves in order to change it and make the trajectory of my life more suitable to my goals and desires.
Obsession
My approach to winning is to tirelessly chase after what I want, to the exclusion of nearly everything else. This is why I pick my goals carefully. I do not want to chase something I don’t absolutely believe in or have some strong interest in. That would be a waste of time, energy and resources. When it comes to my writing and blogging for example, I either don’t go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings at all or if I do my mind is always focused on the next thing I want to talk about. The newest topic up for discussion. Sometimes in fact, I might go to a meeting exclusively for that purpose as people will occasionally mention something that I have lots of opinions about (this has happened a couple of times). Very rarely is a topic one sided, there are often many related ideas that are also worthy of exploration and discussion. Different angles and approaches you could say.
I’ve stayed up late many nights thinking about what I wanted to say next, editing some of what I’ve already written, promoting some work-both old and new, sometimes spending money to “boost” it for further visibility on Tumblr and Wordpress, working on building a stronger and larger social media presence and so on. I’m fully prepared to do some Uber and Lyft to fund my passion and even pick up some Gigsmart shifts along the way if necessary. As of very early this morning I had my first ever article published on Medium with a second one I submitted currently pending publishing and in review. Regardless of how that goes I plan on promoting that story which is called “Swallowing Spirits & Spitting Out Demons” and is one of my most popular posts of all time and one which I have unrelenting faith in. Yesterday I submitted that same story to “Chicken Soup For The Soul” a book series I read as a teenager. I know that it has real potential and I want it to reach more people so that hopefully I can build some strong momentum off of the recognition I could be earning from it. Perhaps future opportunities to monetize my story as well.
The Cost Of Winning & Obsession
Anytime you dedicate your whole being to a passion project you must trade something to keep it moving forward, often several “somethings”. Nothing is in life worth having just materializes without effort and anything worth a damn requires sustained, consistent effort over a long period of time. In my case as I have mentioned, I’ve traded sleep, overeating, under eating, sanity, repeated disappointments, unexpected L’s I’ve had to taken and learn from and the rollercoaster that is obsession itself. I’ve nearly been driven insane already but seeing that one of my posts has finally been published on Medium feels like a herculean victory to me and a massive “W” I will be hanging onto for sometime. I will use it to motivate me for when future disappointments come up, which they inevitably will. From the beginning of this era in my writing journey, I took what I’m doing very seriously in terms of dedicating time and effort. My biggest issue is that I often find that there is no finish line. I always want more, I’m never comfortable with anything for long and this can lead to me getting bored and moving onto the next thing or continuing my obsession which eventually saps my mental health. As far as blogging goes, I don’t see myself ever being fully satisfied so I suppose trying to earn a sustainable income I can live off of would be my ultimate goal as there is no clear ending, just continuing infinitum.
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